by Kevin Thomas (ikevinthomas.com)
Their Fault, Not Mine
I was 26 years old playing basketball in my high school alumni tournament. As I drove toward the basket, three guys I grew up with fouled me all at the same time and injured my ankle badly. It took two years to recover from what they did to me that day.
It wasn’t my fault I was hurt. I was playing by the rules. I didn’t sign up to be injured. I just wanted to have fun with some old friends. Although it wasn’t my fault, it was my responsibility to get better.
No Sympathy Calls
Not one of the three who fouled me ever called to check on me or apologize. They saw me on the floor after they fouled me. They saw me carried to the bench. They saw my wife Jowanda drive me away after I limped to the car. When we arrived at our third floor apartment, I ascended the stairs backwards, seated on my bottom. No sympathy calls at all!
No Get Well Cards
During the two years it took me to recover, not one of my teammates that day ever checked on me. They didn’t foul me. They were on my team! We were teammates! No one sent a card or note. No one called or stopped by. Not one!
Their Fault, but My Responsibility
I tell you this story, not to shame my high school friends, but to make a clear point on blame and responsibility. In the final analysis, my recovery wasn’t their responsibility; it was mine. Likewise, your recovery is nobody’s responsibility but yours, even if your condition isn’t your fault.
Therefore, commit now to take personal responsibility for yourself by looking for toxic behaviors in your life. Remember, even if the bitterness and toxins in you are someone else’s fault, it’s now your responsibility to purge the poisons and detox your soul.
(Oh! And yes, my blameworthy high school friends and I are still friends.)
Ask these questions to those around you. Be prepared to listen and learn.
- What’s not your fault, but now your responsibility?
- Have you accepted the responsibility or are you blaming others?
- How does wasting energy and time laying blame distract from the process of recovery?
- What’s injuries or limps do you have that aren’t your fault?
- What are you doing to get better? Is it working? Provide proof.